Throughout the pandemic, singles have had to find new and creative ways to date. There have been romantic strolls, cute park picnics with board games and perhaps most common of all… the Zoom date.
I feel super blessed to have been in a monogamous relationship since just before the lockdowns, so I never officially had to go without cuddles — who knew that spooning was such an essential part of life?
This got me thinking about my years of struggling through some of the highs and lows Tinder, Bumble and Hinge dates and how I’d do at virtual dating. I could never tell if I was attracted to someone by looking at their photos/social media profiles, so surely I wouldn’t be much better via video dates.
Zoom meetings are awkward at the best of times. You can’t really tell when someone is about to speak so you end up talking over each other, there is always at least one technical glitch and, also, is it realistic enough to see their quirks, persona and presence?
Despite my own doubts, going on virtual dates has really worked for some couples. Take Kim and Bella’s story, as an inspiring example.
Bella and Kim matched with each other on Tinder on 30th March 2019. They realised pretty quickly that they were 17000km apart, but these now-girlfriends were not about to let distance stand in the way of this love story.
“My initial reaction to realising she was 17,000kms away after matching on Tinder was that I was so intrigued,” Bella tells POPSUGAR Australia.
“I was intrigued about being able to talk to someone who lives on the other side of the world, where I have never been. It was amazing seeing our differences in culture and personalities. I soon learnt that our personalities were very alike though, but it made conversations so interesting and deep.”
“I thought that always knew that I could never do a long distance relationship, nor could I ever see myself being in one. So this (initially) was never going to work out for me. But for the time being, it was just nice to get to know each other, until learning that Kim was actually planning to move to Australia in the next 6 months — which changed everything.”
Coincidentally to them matching on Tinder and finding a spark pretty early on, Kim was talking to an au pair family based in Australia and was invited to come out to work for them in the Summer.
Fate was on their side as Bella’s house was only 3.5 minutes away from the family’s home. But there were still a few months to go and they kept their relationship alive via video chat.
“After a couple video calls, things started to get really serious really fast,” says Kim.
“If you meet and date in real life you just text every now and then and wait until you see each other again. But we knew we had to wait so much longer.
“We already liked each other and missed chatting to each other. That was something so confusing to me, like how can I miss someone I have never met? But I did miss her a lot. The texting and video calling was all we had which is why it got so intense I think. We texted every day. And even if the time difference made it hard we figured out a way to talk to each other as much as possible.”
“We both haven’t dated anyone virtually/online before. But it was something so new and so special. It was kind of our thing.” Kim says of the initial stages of their relationship, before she’d met Bella IRL.
“After a while, we both knew we were into each other but none of us dared to admit it in the beginning. Especially because that situation was new to both of us and maybe we didn’t know if it was okay to feel a certain way even though we hadn’t met in person.”
In the months leading up to summer, they would FaceTime and stay up until the early hours of the morning chatting. Due to the time difference, one would often be having an evening glass of wine, whilst the other was eating breakfast. Mimosas, surely?
I can understand how an online relationship can become intensely serious really fast and kinda consume you. It’s arguably easier to open up to people online, to tell them things you may struggle to say out loud.
“Some pros to virtual dating for me were learning each other’s way of thinking and having that space between us allowed us to have the most genuine conversations, which we still do in person,” says Bella, who had never virtually dated before and didn’t think she’d ever be in a long-distance relationship.
“In isolation, it was just a nice break from everything to have virtual dates and solely focus on her.”
When summer 2019 came, Kim moved to Australia to live with the family for 5 months. She came a day early and surprised Bella.
“I remember recognising the streets and shops on the way to her place from photos she used to send,” Kim recalls.
“The moment I first saw her was so overwhelming. I can’t really describe it but you just feel super excited and curious. I couldn’t believe that she was just standing in front of me. Like I could see her? Not just through the phone!
“It’s that moment you’ve been waiting for for so long. You just forget about everything around you. I felt like a little kid falling in love for the first time, it was really nice to be honest. It wasn’t weird at all, we got along straight away and it was just like we both have pictured it before. We were really comfortable with each other and hung out every day.”
Although meeting someone that she already had feelings for, for the first time, was nerve-wracking, Kim is glad that they could go through it twice.
Two months after Kim and Bella first met in real life, they bought a van and travelled all along the coast of Australia, but with COVID on the horizon, there were complications ahead.
When COVID hit, Kim went back to Germany to see her family for three months and was working long hours to try and get herself back to Australia. It was understandably difficult, as they’d come so far since matching on Tinder, embarking on months worth of video dates and then finally being a couple in real life.
“One thing I noticed when Kim was back to Germany, was that I cherish our “virtual” time together so much. It’s so special, we can’t talk all day due to the time difference and work, so when we do I appreciate it so much,” Bella says.
Kim was finally able to return to Australia 2020, and they’re currently in the process of applying for a partner visa.
For this gorgeous couple, video dating seemed to really work out. From hearing their experience, I have more faith in the idea of dating someone via video chat. Perhaps it’s all about giving things a go, without worrying about the outcomes too much.
“I’m really surprised at how good it all worked out,” admits Kim.
“Our friends and families say how crazy it is that we had been talking almost every day for 5 months before we met, and that we got along straight away. I guess it’s not a conventional way to fall in love.”
Bella is also surprised by the outcome.
“I still can’t believe how much of a connection you can gain with someone who you have never met,” Bella says.
“I never thought I could fall in love with someone from the other side of the world who I met on Tinder, but here I am! I never thought I could completely fall in love with someone’s mind so quickly too. Her opinions about the world and our shared connection for art is so amazing and genuine.”
Babes, I think I believe in love again. Happy Tuesday.
If this story has taught us anything, it’s to not be afraid to open yourself up to something new, because you really never know where it could lead.
