From childhood bedtime stories to Hollywood blockbusters, we’ve always been fed a steady diet of narratives centered around finding that perfect partner who will sweep us off our feet and fulfil our every desire. Women, specifically, are conditioned to aspire to love and marriage, that a life without “the one” isn’t somehow fulfilled.
But, obviously, we know that fulfilment doesn’t necessarily stem from a relationship or any one person. But do we still, deep down, subscribe to the idea that our happiness hinges on finding “the one”?
That’s what host Melissa Mason and special guest Bridget Hustwaite are discussing on this week’s episode of POPSUGAR’s Love Rants. Bridget, a celebrated author, host of radio, television, and her own podcast “Figuring Out 30”, is all about challenging traditional ways of thinking when it comes to womanhood, feminism, and growing up. So, it should come as no surprise that she’s interested in where the notion of “the one” came from.
Bridget Hustwaite on the Idea of “The One”
“I’m just so intrigued by like the origins of ‘the one’,” Bridget tells Melissa on Love Rants.
“I was doing research trying to read up on it before this chat because I was thinking, ‘Where did this even stem from?’ I think especially for women, we are obviously conditioned, and we have been historically, to feel like we can’t be happy alone or we do need to be dependent.”
Melissa recalls her own experiences with relationship anxiety, describing how it would mean she’d second guess things.
“With different partners, I’d become fixated on the one and idea that you would just know,” Melissa says.
“You would have this gut feeling that you would just be so completely drawn to this person, but it would be this perfect match — nothing would ever get in the way. The end, finito, ride off into the sunset! But, because I wasn’t finding that, I started to question that as a concept.
“I was like, ‘this is a bit weird that every long-lasting relationship that I know of — my parents, other people I know, even celebrities that talk about love. They’re always talking about the ups and downs and having to put in work and other facets of their relationship that draw them together beyond just this mythical, mystical idea of being connected.”
“I think it goes the other way too,” Bridget responds, “when you think about if you realise someone immediately isn’t the one and then what’s the point of pursuing that? But then later on your mind could change. Unfortunately, you don’t know until you try these things and that does involve time and trial and error.”
Listen to Bridget’s full episode of POPSUGAR’s Love Rants below.
