Threesomes seem to be everywhere in my life at the moment (except my own bedroom). Whether they’re mentioned by my friend who matched with a couple on Tinder, in a podcast episode on non-monogamy I listened to last week or at the end of a recent dinner party when someone asked: “what if we all f**ked?”, threesomes really are all around me.
But you wouldn’t think they are, right? It might be hard to believe, but heaps of people have had threesomes and most of them who have (in my small social circle), have loved them.
My personal experiences with threesomes have always been positive. I identify as bisexual, so for me, a threesome with a girl and guy is truly the best of both worlds. But now, being in a relationship, there is so much more to navigate around having a threesome with my partner.
That being said, threesomes are interesting to talk about. There are so many different threesome dynamics that exist, most of which can have a strong impact on the participants afterward. So, I thought I’d ask some people about what their threesome experience and its impact was.
Here are three different threesome experiences, how they happened and whether or not they were any good.
Kara*, 23
I was out having a girls night. We’d been drinking champagne and dancing our butts off in our highest heels, which ultimately ended up with us going to an after party at a penthouse. Just your classic Thursday night.
I started to get super tired, and called an Uber home. While I was in the Uber, a guy I’d met and vibed with earlier that night texted me “Where are you?” so I called him to tell him I was en route home. He was in town for the weekend, and convinced me to turn my Uber around and go to his hotel. I knew he was staying there with another guy I’d also vibed with that night, but thought nothing of it.
While we were chatting on the phone, he said “We’ve only got one bedroom, so we’ll all have to share a bed… is that okay?” and me, being totally naive to what he was implying, said “OMG, of course!”.
When I got there, the guy came to get me downstairs, and it was on. He was already undressing me and touching me in the elevator and as we were walking to their room. Once we got inside the room, all the lights were off, and the other guy was lying on the bed, literally just waiting. He looked up and said “Hey, what’s up?”, while the other guy continued to undress me. It was hotter than it sounds.
“Things unfolded naturally. They each took turns doing things to me, and me doing things to them, and it was a super comfortable, empowering experience. I’d always imagined a threesome with two guys to be a bit awkward because I’ve experienced straight men getting awkward around each other in that context before. But these guys were super comfortable with each other and were actually getting turned on by each other getting turned on by me. It was hot and unexpected.
The whole situation made me feel so powerful and attractive. I’d only ever had one threesome before this one, and to be honest, I felt it didn’t really count. It was more three people in the same room while two are having sex, y’know? This was a totally different experience, and one that I’d love to have again. I replay it in my mind often.
Andy*, 25
I’d just started a new job, straight out of uni, and met a lady working there who was around 10 years older than me. She was an absolute legend but I didn’t know heaps about her. We got to be friendly and while I was out at a rap, trap and house music nigh, I bumped into her… but nothing happened.
Fast forward 4-5 months later, I was having a little New Year’s Eve thing at my house, and she asked if she could bring a couple of friends. They came along, her and another friend the same age as her, with a few of their other friends too.
It gets to 5am in the morning and the party starts winding down. I looked around, and we were all just lying outside on a picnic rug watched the sunrise, when someone suggested streaking — the things you do at NYE parties, I swear. All three of us end up streaking together down my street, still drunk, while the sun was rising. It was a beautiful moment of freedom.
When we get back to my house, the lady from my work asks “Okay, so what are we doing here?”. We were all getting ready to go to sleep, but there’s some tension in the air, you know? It had been a big old euphoric evening of debauchery, and we were all just snuggled together in bed.
I think being so much younger than I am now, I was trying to show some bravado, and I said “I think we should kiss, then you should kiss, and then if anyone wants to suck my d*ck, you’re allowed” and honestly that’s equally the most crass and brash thing I’ve ever said, but I was absolutely shocked and delighted at my sexual confidence in that moment.
What I didn’t know at the time was that this was my work friend’s first sexual experience since their husband died two years earlier. She was into everything but penetrative sex, she really enjoyed encouraging her friend and I, and using her hands and mouth, etc. It was a wholesome experience that really shaped me in my sexual experiences moving forward.
My work friend’s mate, the one her age, and I actually started dating after this threesome, for about six months. We still keep in regular contact.
Esther, 31
I’d been dating this couple for a month or two. We’d been having dinner at their house, having flirty vibes and doing shibari (Japanese-style erotic bondage) together. We met through the ethical non-monogamy community, and I initially connected with the girl creatively, as we’d done a photo shoot together and had bonded over pegging.
So, this one night, they came over to my house for dinner. We had a few drinks in the backyard and were just hanging out, when they offered to tie me (shibari) together. Usually in a session, it’s just one person tying the other, but they both tied me, and it became like this super sensual experience. I was practically naked, they were kissing over me while they were tying me and were just generally making me feel really special to be involved in this beautiful love and attraction they had going.
The shibari session turned into sex, which was just incredibly connecting and beautiful and inclusive. And super hot. They have their own sexual chemistry as a couple and know what each other like, but they were very inclusive of me, too. For example, she was pegging him at one stage, and then asked if I wanted to have a go! Everyone was just very much equally involved and equally attracted to each other, which is definitely a must in that situation.
This particular threesome was the first of three different threesomes with three different couples I had that weekend. I really like having sex with couples, and being the third, because it allows me just to go in and be free. Previously, I’ve always been the one in a relationship or in a couple, which just means you’re so much more attached to your awareness of another person, as well as the many conversations and unpacking you have to do before or after sex. But honestly, where I’m at in my life right now, I’m loving being the third party. I just get to come, f**k, cum and leave — it’s amazing.
We’re actually still dating, this couple and I. I’m going to have sex with them again next week.
*Due to privacy, some interviewees requested to speak under a pseudonym, however they are known to POPSUGAR Australia.
