The best place to start when talking about ways to practise self-love is to first define it. What actually is self-love? We put the question to Steph Claire Smith, model, creator and co-founder of health and wellness app Keep It Cleaner.
Smith points out that while we know that love in romantic relationships has its up and downs, twists and turns, good times and bad, many of us don’t think of self-love being that way — but it is.
“To love yourself does not mean that you wake up every day in love with who you are or what you look like,” she says. “Self-acceptance, on the other hand, is something we should all aim to come close to feeling daily. Practising any form of self-love should leave you feeling content, and ready to take on anything just as you are.”
And while Smith recently released six “short and sweet” self-love affirmations to the KIC app, and suggests you listen to them to bring about confidence, calm and empowerment, ahead, she shares five other ways you can practise self-love.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
“I’ve shifted my mindset to celebrating differences and appreciating uniqueness instead of comparing and trying to be the same as someone else. I’ve seen in the past when I’ve been too focused on acting or looking like someone else, my true self gets lost, and with that, I also lose my confidence.
“My biggest tip would be to steer clear of anyone that triggers you to be negative on yourself and leads you to compare yourself in a negative way. That goes for online and in person. Sometimes that person may be unavoidable — but set some boundaries and do what you can to surround yourself with people who embrace uniqueness, celebrate you as you are and inspire you to be the best version of yourself.
“Remember that if we all lived the same lifestyle, looked the same way, had the same skill sets… the world would be a very boring place.”
Let Yourself Make Mistakes
“Mistakes in life are inevitable — and I’m not afraid of them anymore because the mistakes I have made in my lifetime have mounded me into the person I am today. I’m okay with dealing with failures as long as I learn from them and don’t make the same mistake twice.
“Speaking to those who inspire me and realising how many times they had to pick themselves up from mistakes has also led me to be less afraid.”
Have a Healthy Relationship With Fear
“I still fear things. I think if you feel fear or anxiety over something it’s only because you care an awful lot, and that’s not a bad thing. But confidence is what allows me to look that fear in the face and push through. And confidence only comes from experience and letting go of certain expectations.”
Unfollow People Who Aren’t Adding to Your Life
“Talking about social media specifically, I think it’s important to remember that we are in control of what we see on our feeds. Instagram can be really detrimental to our mental health when we’re following accounts that trigger negative thought patterns.
“Think to yourself, is this person or brand inspiring, educating or empowering me? If the answer is no, then it might be time to cull!
“And outside of social media, it’s pretty much the same. Set your own boundaries. Surround yourself with people that lift you up, and less time with those who bring you down.”
Know What Self-Care Time Looks Like for You — and Do It
“Figure out what that looks like for you, and make time for it every week, even every day if you can. Self-love for me can be a walk by myself, a yoga flow, a Disney movie on the couch… or a bath listening to KIC meditations or jazz music. Whatever it is that grounds you and fills you with joy – make time for it.”
