Taylor Swift-mania is hitting the UK as the Eras Tour makes its long (long) awaited debut on these shores on Friday in Edinburgh. But while fans will be soaking up every bit of coverage as they stack bracelets on their arms, there’s one class of people who will be dreading the onslaught – the parents of ticketless Swifties.
You’ll have seen more and more desperate social media requests clogging up your feed from celebrities (come on, give over please) to local parents prepared to beg, borrow and steal to get an Eras ticket for their children. And it’s understandable that as a parent you might be having one last go at keeping the tears and disappointment away (well, from the normal parents, not the celebrities and influencers – we all know you’re just on the blag). Ok, there’s enough going on in the world that it’s easy to roll your eyes and ask if this is really a big deal and mutter something about “back in my day”. But being on the receiving end of your child feeling left out at school, upset and angry can be tough to manage. The disappointment for the kids is the FOMO of course. But for the parents you can add to that the fact that the potential worry and guilt some are feeling is two fold – first not managing to secure the tickets, then secondly not being able to afford the (quite extortionate) tickets, whether that be at face-value or the hugely inflated resale prices.
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But if you’ve not got tickets, should we be grasping onto this as a “learning opportunity” for our kids? How should we talk to them about disappointment? Is it about the value of money? Is shouting, “Oh STOP! Olivia Rodrigo is better ANYWAY” the way forward? (No, no it’s not). Don’t worry, we spoke to a parenting expert to find out how to deal if you’ve got a Swift-loving fan who doesn’t have a ticket for her Eras tour.
“My daughter is absolutely gutted she can’t go,” a friend told me. “But she doesn’t quite grasp how much they cost on a resale basis.” And with some tickets being thrown around for thousands, how can a child really contemplate that?
And there’s a long road ahead for some parents. Many children will not believe they’re not seeing Swift until she finally leaves these shores after her last scheduled date on June 23. “My daughter decided she was a Swiftie after the tickets were announced and has proceeded to ask me every single day if I have managed to find a way she can see her idol,” another mum told me. “I’ve tried to explain the tickets are almost impossible to come by, but she is adamant, and optimistic, that one way of another I will find a way. Part of me feels really smug she thinks so highly of me, but the other realises come the summer I’m going to have a very disappointed eight-year-old on my hands.
“Let them know that it is okay to feel this way and try not to be dismissive.”
“My parenting style is pretty honest and I tend to believe the truth is the best route even if it hurts. If it comes down to it and I’m not delivered a Taylor-sized miracle, I will be open and let her be disappointed, as I think resilience is one of the most important skills you can teach. I’m also quite prepared to watch the Eras tour on repeat to ease some of the heartache.”
Parenting specialist Kirsty Ketley first addressed the parenting guilt lots of parents seem to be feeling around not being able to make their children’s Swift dreams come true. She says: “It is absolutely normal to feel guilty as a parent for not being able to make this happen, it is a very normal response to our children feeling upset and sad, when they have relied on you for something that you haven’t been able to fulfil. But you should never let it consume you and you should see it as a great learning opportunity, to show your child that you can’t always have what you want, and how to handle disappointment.
“The reasons for missing out will differ from affording tickets and just missing out, to simply just not being able to afford the tickets, and so the feelings of failure will potentially be harder for those parents who don’t have the money, but whatever the reason, it is no bad thing for kids to learn that they can’t have it all.”
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So what is the best way to deal with the child who is navigating those feelings of disappointment? “It is important though to show some empathy to your child – show them that you understand how they are feeling,” says Ketley. “Perhaps you feel the same as you are a fellow Swiftie, or you can remember feeling the same when you missed out on seeing your favourite artist or band. It sucks and FOMO is real, so go gentle and allow them to feel ALL the feelings. Let them know that it is okay to feel this way and try not to be dismissive – telling them they are being ‘silly’ for instance.
“As parents we want to try and fix things for our kids, to make it all better, but kids need to know that tricky emotions do pass, so let them wallow and they will come through it when they are ready – as long as they feel supported and heard. And the bigger picture is that you can’t fix this, in that you will be able to make it happen, but perhaps you can find ways of celebrating your child’s love for Taylor Swift in some other way? Having a Taylor Swift Day, watching YouTube clips, her documentaries and listening to her music?”
And if none of that seems to help, perhaps you could suggest them channelling some of their feelings into poetry or music… it’s worked out well for their idol, after all.
Rhiannon Evans is the interim content director at PS UK. Rhiannon has been a journalist for 17 years, starting at local newspapers before moving to work for Heat magazine and Grazia. As a senior editor at Grazia, she helped launch parenting brand The Juggle, worked across brand partnerships, and launched the “Grazia Life Advice” podcast. An NCE-qualified journalist (yes, with a 120-words-per-minute shorthand), she has written for The Guardian, Vice and Refinery29.
