Madonna Takes Decades of Rumours Into Her Own Hands — Comes Out on TikTok

The TikTok universe is going wild over a now-viral video that Madonna posted, seemingly coming out.

“If I miss I’m Gay” the text across the video reads, as she flings a pair of pink lacey undies at a bin and — you guessed it — misses.

The comments are rife with excited queers and longtime fans of the iconic pop star.

“Did Madonna just come out? And I’m witnessing it in real time??” one user writes, while another says “I’m witnessing history!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Some were shocked by the news, writing things like “DID MADONNA JUST COME OUT” and “WHAT?! AIGHLOGSHVGD”, while others were more sure that they already knew this information.

“Y’all Madonna has been out as bi longer than some of us have been alive,” one user writes, while others say things like “girl we been knew” and “KNEW IT”.

And me? I’m personally confused. I’d always assumed Madonna identified somewhere within the queer community, given her openness around sexuality and sexual fluidity back in the ’80s and ’90s; a time when it wasn’t widely accepted.

She also wrote an entire song about Vogue-ing, which is one of the most iconic dances within the drag ball culture, especially prevalent in New York in the 1980s.

So, I went back in time to investigate, OFC.

What Is Madonna’s Sexuality?

Madonna has addressed the theme of sexuality multiple times throughout her public career, however, she has never explicitly addressed how she identifies.

She’s previously said things like “I think everybody has a bisexual nature. That’s my theory. I could be wrong.” as well as that infamous kiss with Britney Spears at the 2003 VMAs, certainly signalling that she has no issue loving on women. Girl, same.

Perhaps Madonna was ahead of the curve with sexuality, not feeling the need to label herself nor hide from sexual fluidity.

However, to get a better grasp on her sexuality status as it stands now, we’re looking back at some of her most impactful relationships.

Who Has Madonna Actually Dated?

Okay, so it turns out she’s dated a lot of people. Go girl! So, we’re going to go through the most notable of Madonna’s lovers to date.

Madonna and Sean Penn were married from 1985-1989, and it was a tumultuous relationship. Madonna, at the beginning of a huge career and Penn, a highly respected actor had an alleged explosive temper. Their beachside wedding was a high point of pre-TMZ paparazzi journalism. Despite filing for divorce in 1989, Madonna later said that Penn was the love of her life.

In 1989, Madonna dated Sandra Bernhard. This was her most public relationship with a woman. It started as a friendship then turned into a love affair that ended dramatically after a few months of dating. There’s no public record of what actually happened, but we do know that they never spoke again.

Their appearance together on David Letterman, though, was pretty iconic.


After meeting on the set of Dick Tracy, Madonna fell in love with director Warren Beatty and the couple dated for roughly a year, between 1989 amd 1990. Their unravelling was captured in her 1990 concert film Truth or Dare, where you could see him ridicule her “party lifestyle”. It was a whirlwind romance but not destined for the test of time.

Also in 1990 — the girl does not sleep! — Madonna dated Lenny Kravtitz. Mostly a quiet and non-publicised celebrity couple, Lenny Kravitz marks the beginning of Madonna’s affairs with Latin and African-American men.

Between 1992 and 1994, Madonna dated Ingrid Casares. As the longest relationship she’s ever publicly had with a woman, she actually met Casares through Bernhard (who she dated in 1989). At the time, Casares was dating Bernhard… maybe that’s what caused their rift?

Then, from 1994-1997 Madonna dated her physical trainer Carlos Leon, and together, they had a child; Lourdes Leon. These years were a high point of creativity for Madonna (perhaps it was surely energetic sex?), starring in Evita, for which she won a Golden Globe for Best Actress, as well as beginning work on what is largely considered the best album of her career, Ray of Light.

This was Madonna’s longest relationship (that wasn’t a marriage) and even though they only managed to stay together another year after Lourdes was born, the two remain close — even during Madonna’s break-up with husband #2, Guy Ritchie.

Madonna was married to Guy Ritchie from 2000 – 2008, and while it began as “flawless,” she said that she soon saw  “cracks in the veneer.” The union produced a remake of the 1974 Lina Wertmüller film Swept Away, which was a total flop according to the media and film critics alike. The couple had a child, named Rocco.

So basically, what we’ve gathered is that Madonna has openly dated both men and women over the years. Although she has never explicitly said “I’m bisexual” or “I like women” or “I’m gay”, I think it’s safe to assume that her sexuality is open and fluid and beautiful.

“I’m constantly exploring spirituality, sexuality, different aspects of love, whether it’s romantic love or the love you have for your children,” she said in an interview with USA Today.

“And love can be as devastating and destructive as it can be rejuvenating and life-giving. I guess I try to capture all of that.”

A true, sexually empowered queen from the beginning.

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