10 Shows That Helped Me Come Into My Own Blackness

There was a time in my life where I had no idea what it meant to be Black. Granted, most 6-year-olds don’t have a concrete understanding of their race and culture and what it means in a larger context, but when I moved to a small town in Westchester, NY, from Ghana in West Africa, I was completely out of the loop. My skin was obviously brown so people assumed I was familiar with all the cultural staples that Black Americans popularly identify with. As I went through my preteen and oh-so-complicated teen years, it became harder for me to navigate the cultural differences that I had grown up with, and the ones I was now expected to know. For a while, I didn’t feel like I fit in well anywhere.

My town was fairly diverse, so to hang out with the white kids raised eyebrows from other kids of color in school. However, I wasn’t hip to the music, styles and slang of the Black and Hispanic kids, leaving me in an awkward in-between position. So, I looked to TV.

The late ’90s and early 2000s were primetime for Black sitcoms. Every day after school, after finishing my homework, I would turn on our TV and immerse myself in the comedy, drama, and heartfelt plots of these shows. Through them, I partially learned what it means to be Black in America. More importantly, I saw myself in these characters in a way that gave me confidence to be Black in whichever way felt most natural to me.

Eventually I found my place, by way of just being myself. I made a diverse group of friends who represented a variety of races, backgrounds and experiences. Along the way, these stories told on TV gave me a bit of guidance that helped me fully come into my Blackness with confidence and pride.

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A Different World

This sitcom set in a historically Black college gave me a glimpse into some of the things I may face as a Black woman in higher education. Although I was only in high school when I watched A Different World, I still learned so much. My favorite episode is the one where Cree Summer’s character Winnie, feels pressure to straighten her natural curls when she begins working at a Law firm. I loved being able to relate to the feeling that my natural hair wasn’t good enough for certain settings. It was so inspiring to see Winnie decide to just be herself and wear her natural hair at the end of the episode.

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Fresh Prince of Bel Air

Partially due to it’s catchy theme song ( that I know word for word), the Fresh Prince of Bel Air was my favorite late night sitcom to stay up past my bedtime for. Will Smith and the Banks kids lived out the issues that many suburban Black kids like myself face including, racial profiling, discrimination in school and not being Black enough. The show also put me on to a lot of Black cultural staples from the guest stars that appeared on the show like Queen Latifah and Boyz II Men.

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Moesha

Moving to a predominantly white neighborhood, I struggled with the beauty standards that seemed to be dominant there; I never felt completely beautiful in my dark skin and braids. Enter: Moesha. Brandy was one of the first times I saw someone who looks like me on TV in America. It was also refreshing to see a normal Black girl living out a normal life at a time where Black people were often painted with dysfunction in the media.

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One on One

Growing up without a father figure, One on One was both endearing and sometimes hard to watch. The close relationship between Flex Alexander and Kyla Pratt‘s characters showed me the healthy Black father daughter relationship that I never really saw around me. But it helped me break the stigma that those relationships couldn’t exist. The show was the right amount of heartfelt and funny all topped off with a catchy theme song that made me want to learn how to play Basketball.

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Sister Sister

This show made everyone wish they had a twin sister. Like many of the 90s sitcoms, Sister Sister reruns would come on late at night, but that never stopped me from staying up to watch the marathons. Many of my own life experiences mirrored the plot of the show, like having my first crush and hiding bad grades from my mom. Tia and Tamera served as a template for me on how to deal with the little complications that came with being a teenager. They were basically the sisters I never had.

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Everybody Hates Chris

This show never failed to have me on the ground with laughter while also teaching me a poignant lesson. As Chris and his family navigate the ups and downs of living in Brooklyn in the 80s, their experiences shed light on some important issues like poverty and police brutality. Being an only child, I also enjoyed watching the hilarious dynamic between Chris and his siblings.

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Girlfriends

My mom claimed I was too young to be watching this show, but sneaking around and watching it while she wasn’t around was half the fun. Seeing 4 successful Black women thriving in their friendships, careers and love lives gave me a hopeful glimpse into what life as an independent Black woman could be like. I also saw so much of myself in Toni Childs-Garrett played by Jill Marie Jones. Through watching her character deal with colorism on the show, I felt understood. Seeing Toni face the struggles of being a dark-skin woman and come out on top gave me a boost of confidence to do the same.

Everett Collection / Everett Collection / Carsey-Werner Co. Courtesy: Everett Collection.

The Cosby Show

I didn’t grow up in a big family, it was always just me and my mom. The Cosby Show is one of the many things my mom and I bonded over. I remember her always saying how much she loved the show because it was a big Black family with a doctor for a father and a lawyer for a mother. She always reminded me when we watched it that I could build that kind of life for myself no matter how Black people were predominantly portrayed.

As a fan of the show I was shocked and angered by the developments in Bill Cosby’s sexual assault cases. As inexcusable as his actions are, the show was still inspiring, especially at the time when I watched it.

©Disney Channel/Courtesy Everett Collection

The Proud Family

Weekend mornings in my house started off with me waking up before my mom and running down to turn on the TV and watch The Proud Family. I recently rewatched the show on Disney+ and was reminded of all the touching and funny moments that impacted me so much as a child. The one episode that still sticks out in my head is the one where Penny Proud goes back in time in a dream to live during segregation and the Civil Rights Era. Watching her gain a deeper connection with her African-American Heritage through that experience helped me do the same; especially because I had never learned African-American history as my own.

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