AJ Clementine always knew she was a girl. The problem was, she’d been born in a magical shell that, on the outside, looked like a little boy. In her teens, this conflict between her outer and inner selves exploded, igniting years of anxiety and panic attacks.
AJ Clementine is a TikTok sensation, model and LGBTQI+ advocate. She’s passionate about sharing her experiences and journey of her transition, and is focused on breaking stereotypes and helping the next generation feel confident, supported and seen.
Now fast becoming one of the world’s most visible transgender spokespeople, AJ’s journey to accept and live as her true self has captivated millions of people on TikTok, Youtube and Instagram, where she has shared her gender transition, what it was like to grow up Wasian in a blended family, and her transformation into a model, influencer and trans advocate.
She is the first trans person to model for iconic Australian brand BONDS and is an ambassador for Mardi Gras and Minus18. She has partnerships with brands such L’Oreal, MECCA, Disney+, Pandora (and many more).
So, given her incredible influence and the platforms she has created for herself, it’s not surprising that she’s written an incredibly inspiring book.
Her first novel, Girl Transcending, dropped yesterday (November 2). In it, she shares her experiences, reflections and advice to help us understand and celebrate what makes each of us unique, not only those in the LGBTQI+ community but anyone finding their way in the world.
We caught up with AJ, and chatted about her experience of being the only trans model in the room, her advice to those embarking on journeys of self-discovery and what she hopes people gain from her book, Girl Transcending.
PS: What was the most defining moment for you discovering yourself as trans?
AJ: Reading an article about Kim Petras who had gender confirmation surgery at 16, I didn’t know that was a possibility at that time and it gave me so much hope.
Why do pronouns matter?
They matter because it’s our identity, everyone has them and when they are used correctly it validates who we are.
What’s your experience with often being the only trans model in the room?
At the beginning of my modelling career, I didn’t disclose that I am trans and it put me in many uncomfortable situations. Now that I’m out and proud, it feels empowering and actually doesn’t make me feel like an outcast anymore, I’m treated the exact same and just simply do my job.
How can companies/workplaces/industries do better?
By listening to our voices and what we have to say, to understand that diversity isn’t a way to make money, it’s actual lives, it’s lived experiences, we should be heard and celebrated naturally.
Have you experienced bullying in relation to your sex or gender? If so, do you have any advice for those who may be struggling in similar situations right now?
Being someone who has navigated both sides of the fence, I was bullied for being a feminine ‘boy’ who looked/sounded like a girl and now a woman who has been in situations that have made me feel unsafe or mocked by others. Each side and situation all come from the same place, “hurt people hurt people” but that does not mean we have to excuse their actions. Give yourself all the time you need to heal and find ways to remove yourself from those situations, don’t be afraid to tell someone and take care of your own emotions.
What was it like to be intimate after your gender confirmation surgery? What were some things that helped you?
It felt otherworldly, like how I imagined but I finally can live with it.
Obviously there was a healing time frame, six weeks is what my surgeon recommended although I waited 13 just to be sure. Being comfortable and also knowing how it all works definitely helped me, don’t rush into anything and just try to be in the moment.
How does being intimate feel now?
It feels natural now, kind of like riding a bike, you get much better with time and understand yourself with every trip.
How do you feel about yourself now versus when you were a child?
As a child, I was very naive and somehow believed that I would wake up one day as a woman, but the day I realised that wasn’t happening made my younger self depressed. So how I feel now is literally trying to make my inner child happy, to undo the feelings I felt at such a young age and acknowledging them.
What has been the most rewarding experience in your career so far?
Writing and creating my book, it just feels like a whole magical experience and I’m so proud of it.
Do you have any advice for anyone out in the world who is struggling to find themselves?
To understand that you don’t need to have all the answers, life isn’t some race and your pace is fine. Seek help when needed and find the things that spark joy.
You can buy AJ’s book, Girl Transcending: Becoming the woman I was born to be, here.
