We Investigated What’s in the $126,000 USD Oscars Gift Bag So You Don’t Have To

No idea what the Oscars gift bag is? Until I wrote this investigative piece, neither did I. Essentially, the Oscars gift bag is a consolation prize that goes to the nominated losers. It contains $126,000 USD (an even more staggering $191,300 AUD) worth of beauty and wellness treats, along with some getaways to super-secret locations and *checks notes* actual plots of land.

Although with stars like Brendan Gleeson, Colin Farrell, Cate Blanchett and Steven Spielberg on the list of potential gift-bag recipients, we’re unsure who couldn’t simply purchase everything in the bag out of pocket.

Our quick estimate, which we made by excluding the directors and producers who would tip the scales, reveals the combined net worth of the nominated actors is roughly $278 million. We’re not the only publication left perplexed by the merit of gifting the rich and famous luxury beauty products, destination trips, and plots of land that they could purchase themselves.

When questioned by Forbes, Lash Fary — founder of Distinctive Assets, the LA-based marketing company that curates the Oscars gift bags — said; “it’s not the fact that it’s free. It’s about the fact that we’ve found a unique place with built-in privacy for a celebrity.” Somebody hit Lindsay Lohan’s “Rumours.” Beauty, wellness, alcohol, and food suppliers also pay $4,000 a pop to have their merch placed in the hands of A-listers inside the gift bags.

While that sounds like a lot (because it is), it does seem like cozzie livs has hit the Oscars. The 2020 gift bag had a total value of $225,000 USD — almost double the value of this year’s gift bag. Hopefully the recipients won’t be too disappointed. 

So, What Does the Oscars Gift Bag Include? 

To paraphrase Natalia Imbruglia, we were “a little torn” about taking a peep inside the Oscars gift bag. After all, as humble non-attendants, we can’t afford most of the things on the list. But we also love a pervy moment and would probably look through a celebrity’s bag if they left on the bus. With curiosity getting the better of us, here are the contents of the Oscars gift bags!

Gift one: Liposuction

This gift raises a big question! Can you regift your Oscars gift bag gifts? 

We’re unsure how Cate Blanchette and Ana de Armas will use their free liposuction vouchers, and how do you give this gift to family and friends?

With drugs like Ozempic creating controversy and already in the hands of most celebrities, and the return of dangerous ’90s “skinny culture” being critiqued from The Cut to POPSUGAR Australia, this seems like a poorly timed and potentially unnecessary gift. But it’s in there!

Gift Two: A Trip to a Private Canadian Estate

The 2023 Oscars gift bag includes a trip to The Lifestyle, A 10,000 acre Canadian estate that’s so private we can’t even book ourselves in via Google. It’s $40,000 USD for three nights, so we may have skipped it anyway. 

Gift Three: Trip to Restored Lighthouse Off the Coast of Italy

This actually sounds quite spooky, and not just because it costs $9,000 USD! Idea for Oscars night game: pick which nominee you’d most like to spend the night with in a “restored” (read: definitely cursed or exorcised) lighthouse. Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe made it look like a great time.

Gift Four: Facelifts, Hair Restoration, and More!

The aforementioned liposuction comes courtesy of Dr Thomas Su, owner of Art Lipo., Bizarrely, we discovered it’s arm-specific. Other treatments include Dr Alan Bauman’s hair restoration services and a facelift from Dr Konstantin Vasyukevich. 

Gift 6: Skincare, Haircare, and Supplements

Oscar nominees can prep from home for their next event with a suite of skincare products. For smaller skincare labels, this is the opportunity to be placed in serious A-listers’ hands and bathroom cupboards. Skincare brands featured include Evolvetogether, a skincare line all about sustainability, and some extremely cute rose gold detangles from ReFa haircare Their packaging is biodegradable and made of recyclable materials. We’re rooting for them to make it to Ana de Armas or Steven Spielberg’s top shelf.

Cosmetics include Oxygenetix in collaboration with Dr Jay Calvert, MD at ROXSpa in Beverly Hills and Dr Shino Bay Aguilera of ft Lauderdale. The range is designed explicitly for post-procedure coverups, and celebs will be gifted a free microneedling treatment at each location, along with a year’s supply of Oxygenetix foundation and concealer.

Gift 5: A Plot of Land (in Australia):

Last year, nominees were gifted a plot of land in Scotland and an official title. This year it’s Australia! We’re unsure what we have to offer regarding official titles. Perhaps nominees will have to satisfy themselves with a position in local government.

Gift Six: Snacks and Booze

Pity the nominees don’t receive their gift bags pre-ceremony because there are some tasty snacks included! Ginza Nishikawa has gifted milk bread, edible massage oil, a pack of Clif Thins and some organic dates so the saddened Oscars-losers can eat their feelings on the way home! There’s also a bottle of Antigua Cruz Añejo Cristalino Tequila. Love.

They’ll pair nicely with the food being served off the Oscars menu, which includes *checks notes again* fancy fish and chips.

Catch up on all of our 2023 Oscars coverage here.