An A – Z of Lesser Known Fetishes and Kinks, and Where They Come From

A big part of sex is kink and fetish. Although you may not feel as though you belong in the world of extreme fetishism, there are guaranteed to be some kinks and fetishes that you’ve lightly experienced or desired throughout your sex life.

Kinks and fetishes often come from the ideas of pain, pleasure, control and power — which are arguably some of the main pillars of life. They’re a way of erotically exploring parts of ourselves that feel challenging, or have a slightly deeper meaning to us, whether that be drawing from past experiences or attempting to unpack morals and values within our own identities.

You can engage with the below 26 kinks and fetishes with an open mind. There is no such thing as “wrong” or “right” when it comes to consensual sexual experiences and exploration. You might learn something about yourself, your partner, or find something that gets you curious to learn more.

Here are 26 kinks and fetishes, what they mean and where they come from:

A is for Auralism

Auralism is a sexual fetish defined as sexual arousal or excitement caused by sound. Many of us may have experienced a version of auralism, like being turned on by a specific song or someone’s voice. For example, you might find that a certain song really turns you on. If you’re not in the mood, this song can get you there. That’s a version of auralism. For some, it’s a small addition to their sexual experience; something that simply makes it better, while for others, it’s a requirement for sexual gratification.

“Auralism is a legitimate sexual fetish, defined as sexual arousal or excitement caused by sound,” Tatyannah King, a sex educator and sex coach with Blex Technologies, says in this online article “This sound might be music, ASMR-style videos, voices, or natural sounds of sex.”

So, if you’ve noticed that you get super turned on by certain sounds, auralism might be something for you to explore more deeply — to find sounds that really get you going. Or, if you’ve never even heard of it, it might be something to trial with a partner. BC why not?

B is for BDSM

BDSM is an umbrella acronym for bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism, which all kind of fit within the same realm of the kink and fetish world. The term BDSM is pretty widely known, and conjures up images of leather harnesses, whips and power play. But where does it come from?

BDSM has literally been around since the first record of human civilisation. Dating back to 3100 BC, the first records of BDSM originate from one of the first known advanced human civilisations — in Ancient Mesopotamia — located in the Middle East near Iraq.

Of course, all the initial BDSM records involve gods and/or goddesses (perhaps they still do). Probably the most notable, is the story of Inanna. Inanna, sometimes also called Ishtar, is the goddess of passion and fertility, the two main reasons we “fundamentally” have sex; to fulfil a passion and to reproduce. The stories of Inanna tell of her whipping her constituents into a pure and wild sexual frenzy. Their moans of pleasure were simultaneous to their moans of pain, and with them, the introduction to a world of of finding sexual joy through pain. Inanna was the OG feminist, known to worship her own vagina, and forcing men to bow down to her in a state of submission. PREACH, queen.

Nowadays, BDSM ranges from being tied up, to being whipped, dominated or humiliated. Traditionally, there are doms and subs and it’s almost a role play scenario, toying with the boundary of pleasure and pain. Due to it’s intense nature, BDSM can be a bit intimidating to try out, but it’s okay to go slow. Maybe start by restraining your partner to the bed, or playing with dominance or submission in a more lighthearted way, before you work your way up to the chains and whips.

C Is for Cuckolding

A “cuckold” is defined by a man who gets pleasure from watching his partner have sex with another man. This usually stems from a feeling of inadequacy and falls in a similar category to a kink around humiliation — he gets off by seeing another man do what he feels he can’t. This makes him feel worthless, which turns him on.

Although this kink traditionally happens between men and women, it can also be described in a similar way within same-sex male relationships too.

D Is for Dirty Talk

We all know this one! For some, it might make you squirm in your chair just thinking about it, while for others — it might make them feel immediately frisky.

Dirty talk is something we’ve mostly likely been introduced to in porn, which has then perhaps misled us on what we should (and shouldn’t) say. Truthfully, dirty talk should come naturally to you in the moment. It should be a verbal expression of how you’re feeling, when getting intimate with someone, or even from afar — for those engaging in online or long distance relationships. It’s a great tool to use during phone sex, for example.

It could be what you’re thinking about doing to them, like describing a scene out of an erotic film, or what you think about when you’re touching yourself and picturing them. It could also be just literally how you’re feeling in the moment, if you’re in person and having sex, it’s a way of verbal communication that can work as a kink, as well as a tool to communicate what you’re needing and wanting in that moment.

If you’re not into dirty talk, that’s okay too — it’s not for everyone.

E Is for Edgeplay

You may have heard of edging, but what about edgeplay? While edging refers to teasing yourself or your partner on the brink of orgasm for as long as possible, edgeplay is more about consensually pushing someones boundaries or limits.

Typically rooted within fear, some examples of edgeplay scenarios could be expression of sexual orientation, pain tolerance, germophobia, fear of kidnapping, fear of public humiliation and fear of death. Obviously, these are all pretty extreme things to experience in the bedroom and are definitely something to be extremely open and communicative about, before diving in.

Wanting to push your own personal boundaries during sex is a totally normal thing to desire. It’s also totally fine to not want to conquer fears during sex. Either way, talking about your boundaries can be a really cathartic experience to have with a sexual power, whether you decide to bring them into the bedroom, or not.

F Is for Financial Dominance

Financial dominance is such a massive industry, that there are dommes that practise predominantly within this realm; called Fin-Dommes.

The concept is simple: “finsubs” (short for “financial submissives”) send monetary “tributes” to a financial dominatrix, who could be any gender, in exchange for being humiliated and degraded. It’s the dom/sub relationship, but controlled through financial assets and humiliation, rather than physical restraint.

G is for Gagging

Gagging also fits into the BDSM category, referring to the use of a “gag”, which is usually either a piece of cloth or ball gag, that goes over or in someone’s mouth, suppressing their ability to make noise.

However, it can also mean literal gagging, like struggling to swallow vibes. This could be caused by an aggressive blowjob, or even by someone putting their fingers down your throat. This generally comes from the idea of “taking it”, which while it can be quite patriarchal, is more just a control thing than anything else.

Someone who likes to be gagged or gagging during sex, is usually someone who fits into a more submissive role. Alternatively, if you’re the one that likes to watch the gag, that often means you enjoy the dominant role.

H Is for Humiliation

There are many forms of erotic humiliation that can lead a person to feel turned on. Consensual psychological humiliation done for sexual or emotional arousal, is often referred to as “humiliation play” in the BDSM world, and is often done during dominant/submissive play. Humiliation can be delivered verbally, physically, or be a combination of both.

It basically describes the feeling of being turned on by being spoken down to, or “humiliated”, often about something in your life that you’re already embarrassed about or aware of.

Like many forms of kink play, humiliation can be performed in or out of the bedroom. While some enjoy adding humiliation play to their sex lives, it can be a stand-alone form of play, or as they say in the BDSM world, a “scene”. For example, you could turn cleaning into a humiliation scene, by continuing to “knock glasses over” as they clean, creating more mess and telling them that they’ve “missed a spot”.

Playing with kink outside of the bedroom allows the space to get comfy within different roles, to see if they’re something you’re into or not, without getting super vulnerable.

I Is for Impact Play

You might already be engaging in impact play, and not even know it.

If you enjoy being slapped on the butt (or anywhere really) during sex, then you’re most likely pretty into impact play. It basically just refers to being turned on by a form of impact, either by someone’s hand or a toy, such as a whip. It can range from a soft tap, to a harder smack, to a more painful smack-dat-ass vibe… but it all falls under the impact play category.

While some are more into a casual slap on the ass, others are into impact play that utilises different toys, for different feelings. For example, you could use a specific style of whip, called a “flogger” to stoke your partner softly, or whip them super hard… or both!

J Is for Japanese Bondage

Otherwise known as Shibari, Japanese bondage or rope play is a true art form. Shibari means “tying” or “binding” in Japanese, and it’s used for a number of reasons, including erotic kink.

Some use Shibari as a form of healing; the pain and intimate experience of being bound by someone else is said to heal wounds of trauma, PTSD and other states of mind. It can also be used as an art form, with many Shibari artists tying beautiful knots and/or placing their subjects in interesting positions to then be photographed or painted.

In erotic play, the intimate act of tying (and untying someone) can turn people on, and understandably so. Again, toying with the idea of power play and dominance, versus submissiveness is at it’s helm here. The person being tied up literally has to give over power to the person tying them, which can be scary, painful and liberating.

Bondage has a rich history in Japan, coming into popularity during the Edo Period (1600s – 1860s) at the hands of Seiu Ito; known as the “father of Kinbaku”, which was the original form of Shibari. He began studying and researching Hojōjutsu (the art of binding a prisoner of war) which he bagn to practise, drawing inspiration from other art forms too.

Kinbaku became widely popular in Japan in the 1950s through magazines such as Kitan Club and Yomikiri Romance, which published the first naked bondage photographs. Then, in the 1960s, began to appear performing live sadomasochism shows, which often included large amount of rope bondage. It’s often been seen as a performance art, carefully dancing the boundary between art and sex.

K Is for Klismaphilia

Now you probably haven’t heard of Klismaphilia before. Deriving from the Greek words κλύσμα and φιλία, Klismaphilia is a paraphilia involving enjoyment of, and sexual arousal from, enemas (another word for liquid). This specific sexual kink involves becoming aroused by the entrance of liquids into your butthole. I know it might sound strange, but you can’t knock anything until you’ve tried it!

L Is for Latex

A lot of erotic costuming is made out of latex, so it only makes sense that people would have a certain kink, fetish or desire around it. It’s not commonly known as a kink on it’s own, but rather a part of a kink or sexual fantasy.

You can buy some pretty sexy latex costumes online at Lovehoney, which if you were to try on, might have you understanding where this kink comes from!

Latex costuming is often part of the extreme BDSM experience, whether that be bondage, or being commanded by a dominatrix.

M Is for Masochism

A sexual masochist is someone who likes pain as part of sexual activity. Masochism is part of the BDSM acronym and ties in with many other kinks and fetishes. You might have noticed, that many of the kinks and fetishes we’ve explored so far are intertwined, and that they’re all quite intrinsically connected with the ideas of control, power, pleasure and pain.

N Is for Nipple Play

Nipple play can be anything from loving having your nipples pinched and sucked, to wearing nipple clamps or electric shock wires.

Nipples are an erogenous zones with heightened sensitivity, and some people can have orgasms from nipple play alone. However, every nip is different, and some people might simply feel in pain or nothing at all, when their nipples are touched. It’s totally up to the individual experience.

Nipples are often a spot that people are attracted towards, so it can be nice to experiment with how different versions of nipple play can impact you. Don’t be afraid to try this on yourself at home, before taking it into the bedroom with a partner.

O Is for Orgasm Control

Orgasm control is another kink that’s all about power, whether it be you having the power to control your own orgasm, teasing yourself and someone else, or your partner having the ability to control when you orgasm.

Using different breathing techniques, you can teach yourself how to control your orgasms. For example, breathing deeply and slowly might allow for you to keep yourself on edge for a bit longer, whereas short, sharp breaths might bring you to orgasm really quickly. You can practise this through self-pleasure, seeing if keeping your orgasm at bay can actually achieve an even more enjoyable finale O.

In partnered play, one partner can bring their partner right up to the moments before orgasm and then back off so that they are still stimulating their partner but not enough to bring about an orgasm. This can be a turn on for both parties involved (from personal experience).

P Is for Praise

Some people just love to be affirmed in intimate moments, and praise or “affirmation play” can be something they need or desire from their partner. Whether it’s being told you look sexy, or even praising you on how you’re pleasuring them — if these moments of affirmation turn you on, you’re probably a person that has a bit of a praise kink. But seriously, don’t we all!?

Q Is for Quirofilia

We’re all pretty across foot fetishism, but what about being super turned on by a person’s hands? IDK if it’s a full-out kink for me, but I am definitely a hands girl. When on a first date, I always like to look at the other persons hands, how they’re using them to express themselves, what they’d feel like on me, etc…

Well, Quirofilia is the word for hand fetish. It encompasses the sexual attraction to a specific area such as the fingers, palm, back of the hand and/or nails, or and attraction to a specific action performed by the hands; which may otherwise be considered non-sexual — such as washing and drying dishes, painting of the fingernails and nail-biting. It also encompasses the manifestation of sexual desire to experience physical interaction with said hands, or as a source of sexual fantasy.

R Is for Role Play

Role play is a fun one. Although intimidating — literally dressing up and acting like someone else — if you can get through the nerves, it can be a great way to explore new and juicy sides to your partner that you may not have seen in the bedroom.

Couples often like to act out scenes they’ve imagined in their heads. For example, if you’ve ever wondered what it would like to f*ck a flight attendant, why not try it with your partner? Get them to dress up in costume and act as though they’re serving you on a plane… and the rest of the scene will write itself.

I haven’t met a single person who has tried role play and disliked it. Of course it’s not for everyone, but even if you just try it out for fun, you might have an eye-opening experience.

S Is for Spectrophilia

Spectrophilia defines a sexual attraction to either ghosts. Some people that have a spectrophilia kink, actually believe to have had sexual encounters with ghosts.

T Is for Teasing

Who doesn’t love a good tease? This could be physical teasing, like touching and playing without actual sex, like extended foreplay or more visual; just looking into someone’s eyes and stroking their body without taking clothes off. It could also just be the art of flirting, teasing someone that you find sexually attractive with verbal sexual tension, in the (hopeful) lead-up to the actual thing.

Some people love to be teased, some people love to do the teasing and some people just want to cut to the chase. There’s no right or wrong answer, here.

U Is for Urophilia

We all know that Sex and the City episode where Carrie Bradshaw is dating the sexy politician that wants her to pee on him. That is what urophilia is, the sexual excitement with the sight or thought of urine or urination.

V Is for Voyeurism

Do you get turned on by watching other people have sex? You might be a voyeur!

Voyeurism is big in the sex party scene, where many people will attend to simply watch others get naked and/or have sex. For some, it might be all they feel they need, while for others, it can be a great way for them to get in the mood. Some people just enjoy watching people have sex in general, and others might be soley interesting in watching their partner have sex with someone else. This could lead to threesomes, or an orgy; encouraging sexual freedom within the relationship.

Voyeurism used to be the only form of pornography, before the internet. There were clubs where visitors would pay a certain amount to watch performers have sex, though tiny little peep holes.

W Is for Whipping

This one is pretty simple — you like you be whipped. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.

X Is for Xylophilia

Xylophilia is a sexual attraction to wood (not the human kind), but more broadly; nature. You may feel as though you want to kiss, hug or hump a tree.

Y Is for Yaoi

Yaoi is verrrrry specific. It refers to being turned on by the (mostly) same-sex relationships between male anime characters. Yaoi is the slang term specifically used to describe anime books that contain sex scene or other sexually explicit themes.

Z Is for Zelophilia

Zelophilia is a person who becomes aroused by jealousy. They may get turned on by watching their partner get hit on, flirt or even have sex with someone else, or even the thought of their partner doing any of these things — such as in a role play scenario — could be enough to get them feeling frisky.