I Don't Identify With My Zodiac Sign at All, and That's OK

Between the quippy horoscopes, cute tattoo ideas, and tips on everything from outfit ideas to sexual compatibility, zodiac signs seem to be something of a 21st-century holy grail. People everywhere find humor, comfort, connection, and a strong sense of identity from their astrological signs . . . but I never have. Not identifying with my sign at all has left me feeling like I’m missing out on a really great party that might have my soulmate or, at the very least, a good idea of what my future should look like.

My birthday is April 4, which makes me an Aries. Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, and they’re known for being fiery and passionate. They’re the torchbearers and trailblazers, the leaders of the pack who are impulsive and love being the center of attention. And I’m, well, none of those things.

Related: The Best Ways to Practice Self-Care Based on Your Zodiac Sign

For one, I’ve never been first at anything in my life. I’m maybe third on a good day, after I’ve made sure the two ahead of me haven’t burned themselves on the metaphorical torch. I’m rarely impulsive. I’m far more likely to have a conniption over which ice cream flavor to choose and weigh the pros and cons of all my feelings for hours before tentatively coming to a conclusion. And as a painfully shy kid turned moderately shy and manageably anxious young adult, I loathe being the center of attention. I have a tendency to turn bright red and nervously babble under the pressure of the spotlight, which is hard for me because I pride myself on being well-spoken. I’m a good listener, I’m good at reading people, and I enjoy giving thoughtful responses – all things that come from being a life-long spotlight-averse observer.

I have learned how to speak out when I’m passionate about something. There are also times when I do behave rashly, get angry, and say things I mean but don’t mean to actually say out loud. Maybe that means I do have a bit of ram in me after all that’s eager to rear its head, or maybe it’s that people are multifaceted and I see small pieces of myself in all of the signs.

One thing that does ring true is that Aries are known for being honest – and I am very honest, which is why I can honestly say I don’t identify with my zodiac sign aside from that. And you know what? That’s OK. I’m proud of who I am even if it doesn’t neatly align with what’s written in the stars. I take inspiration from all of them, and I take my future as it comes, not needing to look at specific horoscopes for clues. And if I ever do want to get a tattoo, I’ll brainstorm ideas all on my own.