Jules Sebastian has penned an open letter describing the tragic circumstances surrounding the death of her brother Andrew Egan.
In an excerpt taken from her forthcoming book, Tea & Honesty and published by the Sydney Morning Herald, Sebastian spoke of the loss of her sibling just five days after her wedding to singer Guy Sebastian.
During the nuptials, Egan had performed the worm, a move that “is the stuff of champions”.
“It’s a full-body, head-to-toe movement rolling backwards across the floor like a … well, a caterpillar,” she said.
“My brother wasn’t holding back. It appeared like he was living his ‘best life’. The cheers and laughter from the people surrounding us that night were enough to say he was the most popular person on the dance floor.”
Sebastian recalled her brother as “smart, funny, good-looking, kind and popular”. However, just under a week later, Egan had died — he had “taken his own life”.
“Those were the words that tangled and tore me open the most. He had decided for himself that his life was over,” she wrote.
The celebrity couple, who were on their honeymoon at the time, cancelled the rest of their trip and flew back to Adelaide where her family was.
“I closed my eyes, balled myself up in the back of the taxi and tried to distract myself with happier thoughts,” she wrote.
“Nothing could stop the bad thoughts. Or crying. Nothing could stop my brother being dead. He was gone. I knew it, but I couldn’t believe it. I sometimes still can’t.”
Upon arriving at the airport, photos of the Sebastian wedding were plastered across a magazine and well-wishers congratulated the couple. Sebastian said how difficult it was to hear the well-wishers.
“To this day, that would have to be one of the most surreal moments of my life. The feeling of the world moving on, like nothing tragic had happened. People were just getting on with their lives, not understanding that we were back home to bury my childhood best friend – my big brother, Andrew.”
Read the full excerpt here.
If you or anyone you know is struggling and needs support, call Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 or Lifeline on 13 11 14, both of which provide trained counsellors you can talk with 24/7. You can also speak with someone confidentially at Headspace by calling 1800 650 890 or chat online here. If you are in immediate danger, call 000.
